i had an occasion to reflect on my first ‘real’ job today. i keep thinking if i edit it just right there’s a a sci-fi movie script here somewhere.
- not getting paid for 3 months while your employer shows off his new gold fish collection worth thousands of dollars
- working for 7 years with 18 days off
- saying no to playboy for moral reasons then saying hells yes WWF
- serving the entire sony b2b site off of webstar and tango backend
- new business card: “director of keepin’ it real”
- middle management meetings with free skittles
- heard during a client meeting: “shut the fuck up sox. if i want any shit from you i’ll just squeeze your head.”
- client request: “must be able to access our accounting data fom our VAX machines”
- unsnorted lines of coke in the bathroom
- a chimpanzee AND jerry springer at our tradeshow booth
- shopping for $10,000 cubicles with a dedicated climate system that automatically turned to face the sun
- sheriff’s office seizure notices
- watching a fired sales guy grabbing his personal files and running down the street being chased by vp of sales
- emma: look! i cleaned the camera for you!
- uncle sox: oh thanks, emma. [...] wait, did you wash this with water?
- emma: a ha. look! it's all clean!
- uncle sox: sit down, emma. today we're gonna to talk about consumer electronics.
i enjoy the strange little signals my body sends out when i’ve pushed it too hard. today it was the inability to hold on to a cup of coffee after a hard ride. my hands were shaking so bad i was spilling it all over the park bench. just then everything kinda slowed down and i felt like i was observing myself sitting on the bench starring at my hands. and for some reason i just couldn’t stop laughing. few minutes later the shaking stopped and i could remember what my name was again. as i headed home very gingerly i remembered this quote from bjarne riis: “if you don’t wreck the threads by screwing too tight, you will never know how far you can screw.”